My Name Is Michael

So long, Rick…For now.

Apr 142012

So Rick Santorum has finally dropped out of the Republican race for President, leaving the path clear for Mitt Romney to accept the nomination and go up against President Obama in the Fall.

Oh, sure. There’s still candidates left in the race. Ron Paul is vowing to stick in there, and for some reason crazy-assed Newt Gingrich still seems to think there’s some kind of logical reason for him to put up a show of being a candidate. This is a guy whose campaign is bouncing checks in Utah, folks. The proverbial fat lady is screaming in his ear but for some reason he’s refusing to listen.

Wow. I just re-read my last paragraph. You know someone is off his rocker when, compared to folks like Ron Paul I consider him to be the crazy one (and before you start your shit with me, Paul supporters, understand that while I agree with a lot of what he has to say you gotta admit that he’s a bit on the insane side for continually throwing himself into the grinder by trying to get elected on a Republican ticket).

But this post isn’t about Newt Gingrich or Ron Paul. This post is about Rick Santorum. Frankly? The dude scared the shit out of me. The thought of living in a country with him as President was enough to make me seriously do some research into what it would take to move to another country. This is not an exaggeration. I looked things up.

Spoiler alert – It’s a real pain in the ass.

But with all of his insane religious viewpoints, his intolerance of homosexuality, his unrealistic view of the Middle East and why exactly some of the otherwise nice folks who live there would like to see us die in a fire, and his general lack of supporting pretty much anything that I hold to be precious as far as politics are concerned….

I’m going to miss him.

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An Appeal To Authority

Politics No Responses »

Feb 032012

So I put my application letter to attend the Republican National Convention in the mail today. I thought you all might like to read it.

–

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing to formally request access to the 2012 Republican National Convention as an Independent Blogger.

I have thought long and hard about how to present myself in this letter, trying to think of the “best” way to convince you that I’m not some kind of crazy hack that is attempting to get in to the convention as a joke. In doing so, I realized that if I had to trick you into believing that I was something I am not then I wasn’t being honest about who I was or why I wanted to attend the convention.

And that’s just not me.

So here’s my pitch, with no exaggerated claims or grandiose promises, and with all of the many reasons you can probably think of not to let me in stated right up front.

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Live Blog – 2012 State of the Union Address

Politics 7 Responses »

Jan 242012

So I’ve been pretty critical of the Republicans during their 8 bajillion debates. I believe, however, that I’ve also been fair. I’ve certainly admitted when I agreed with them, even if the person who I was agreeing with was Rick Santorum. So tonight I’m turning my snark-o-tron on the guy I’m currently supporting in the 2012 election. I doubt I’m going to end up being nearly as harsh, but if he says things I think are full of crap I’ll admit it.

Let’s see how this goes…

10:12 PM

Oh, crap. That was a false ending. Who wrote this speech? Peter Jackson?

10:11 PM

Looks like he’s ending on a “praise the military” note again. Well played.

10:09 PM

Biden keeps looking at his hands! IS HE ON A SMART PHONE?

10:08 PM

Hrmmm…Hillary didn’t look like she cared for the “no options off the table” comment about Iran.

10:02 PM

Didn’t President Bush make the same “up or down vote” request of a Democratic majority?

10:01 PM

Wait, what? You mean elected officials shouldn’t be able to own stocks in industries they regulate?

09:57 PM

Tom Coburn is like “Dude, what?! Leave me out of this crap!”

09:56 PM

Ugh. He said “fair share” again. #drink

09:56 PM

You don’t think the President is pointing out that whole tax rate thing because of Mitt’s return, do ya? #naaaahhh

09:54 PM

“No side issues. No drama.” Oh, Mr. President. You’re so cute.

09:54 PM

Boehner grudgingly applauds calls not to raise the payroll tax again.

09:53 PM

Yeahhh…No Republican applause on Richard Cordray. Not a big shocker there. #sourgrapes

09:52 PM

Obama says he won’t go back on Dodd-Frank or the Affordable Care Act.

09:50 PM

Wooooow. That was a REALLY bad joke.

09:48 PM

As a homeowner who is seriously underwater on his mortgage and paying 6.75% interest I’d really like for that refinancing thing to go through.

09:47 PM

“Do some nation building right here at home.” Yet another novel concept!

09:45 PM

Actually, the easiest way to save money is to not spend it, Mr. Presdient. I mean…technically speaking.

09:44 PM

Stop subsidizing big oil? More crazy talk!

09:41 PM

Umm…Mr. President? Not sure you want the Government to take credit for frakking. #justsayin

09:40 PM

And another promise from another President to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. #believeitwheniseeit

09:39 PM

POTUS reminds everyone that the internet was basically created by the Government. Kinda counters that whole “government can’t innovate” thing.

09:37 PM

“Women should earn equal pay for equal work.” Well…yeah. I thought that was pretty well accepted as the right thing.

09:36 PM

How many Presidents have promised to do something about illegal immigration during this address?

09:35 PM

“If you can’t stop tuition from going up, the funding you get from taxpayers will go down.” How will that help students?

09:33 PM

Huh. The President wants to require that all states force kids to stay in high school until they graduate or turn 18.

09:32 PM

“Stop teaching to the test.” YES. YES. THAT.

09:32 PM

Thank you, Mr. President, for reminding the nation that Teachers are freakin’ important.

09:30 PM

Er…I didn’t know that getting an education was that hard.

09:29 PM

Ooo…The President is promoting education. That’s crazy talk!

09:28 PM

Sounds like maybe Obama wants to try and find better ways to do what SOPA and PIPA were supposed to do.

09:25 PM

That’s a lot of tax cuts, Mr. President. Republicans like tax cuts, right?

09:24 PM

I really, really wish that Obama would stop using the term “fair share.” It’s a lightning rod for the right.

09:22 PM

Obama is taking credit for the recovery of the auto industry. That’s a good thing for sure, but it was a circumvention of the Free Market.

09:20 PM

Mr. President, I love how you’re sounding all full of conviction. Where has that been the last three years?

09:19 PM

Eric Cantor applauds the fact that 3 million jobs have been created. Boehner? Not so much. Boehner apparently hates jobs.

09:17 PM

Boehner almost forgot to clap dis-affectedly for that last statement.

09:16 PM

Obama says the most important issue of our time is to keep the American Dream alive. Subtle nod to his “rags to riches” story.

09:14 PM

Start off by praising the armed forces and the accomplishments they made in 2011. “Imagine what we could accomplish if we followed their example.”

09:09 PM

Yay Gabby Giffords!

09:08 PM

Wow. Boehner already looks like he smelled a fart and Obama hasn’t started talking. Must be Biden.

08:26 PM

Just tuned into the pre-show at whitehouse.gov. There was video of the first lady and Desmond Tutu doing pushups. PAUSE.

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Live Blog – Republican Debate in Tampa

Politics 9 Responses »

Jan 232012

Running late, so no time for pre-show commentary!

10:49 PM

Whelp. Debate is over. I’ll be back tomorrow night to cover the State of the Union. I’m sure you’re excited.

10:44 PM

Gonna have to agree with my Twitter buddy from across the aisle @BXGD. Good showing for Romney.

10:41 PM

Brian Wilson says “Go Bulls.” Best audience reaction of the night.

10:40 PM

Newt – “Don’t be for me. Be with me. I have an open candidacy.” #hesaiditwithhiseyes

10:38 PM

Holy crap. ANOTHER nod to Bondi?

10:38 PM

“I have a record. You should look at my record. It has ALL FOUR BEATLES ON IT.” – Romney #oknotreally #wouldbebetter

10:37 PM

“Conservative means smaller Government and more liberty.” – Ron Paul. Says Gov should get out of our personal lives.

10:35 PM

Dude. Romney and Santorum are both sucking up to Pam Bondi. What the hell?

10:34 PM

OBAMA CRUSHES FREEDOM.

10:31 PM

Apparently raising a family promotes Conservatism. Shit. I’m a Conservative!

10:31 PM

The Republican Party has a soul? #cheapshot

10:25 PM

Annnnnd Gingrich falls back on Dodd-Frank criticism. Wow.

10:25 PM

“If tax cuts create jobs, why didn’t the Bush tax cuts work.” THANK YOU FOR FINALLY ASKING THAT QUESTION.

10:22 PM

Romney says that Obama doesn’t have a mission or vision for NASA. Bush did, though! Get to Mars! Oh….wait…

10:21 PM

Ron Paul makes the only valid point about the Schaivo case. Have a Living Will. Can we move on now?

10:20 PM

You know what the Terry Schaivo issue begat? Glenn Freakin’ Beck.

10:18 PM

A Terry Schaivo question? Wooow. Kickin’ it old school.

10:14 PM

If these candidates are supposed to demonstrate that they understand Florida issues they are all failing miserably.

10:12 PM

Romney says that EVERYTHING Obama has done has made it harder for people in Florida. #thoughtIlivedinFlorida

10:11 PM

“Get rid of subsidies and let the market work.” – Romney. A point I agree on!

10:10 PM

Gingrich seems almost giddy over getting questions over the sugar subsidies.

10:08 PM

“We’d have a card that shows that people are here legally.” – Romney. You mean…like….a…Green card?

10:07 PM

Gingrich says it’s ok to break the law if you serve in the military, but not if you go to college. Got it.

10:05 PM

Umm…Did Romney just say “they no speak English?”

10:05 PM

“Our kids were being taught in foreign languages in our own schools.” – Romney. THE HORROR.

10:03 PM

“Why is it ok for you to court voters in Spanish, but not ok for the government to offer services to those same people?” OH SNAP.

10:02 PM

Santorum claims that tankers are the oil spill problem. Deepwater Horizon? Not a tanker.

10:02 PM

Santorum is dodging the question, but if you listen to what he’s saying? Offshore Drilling all over the Gulf.

10:01 PM

Yessss…Offshore oil drilling questions. This should be fun.

10:00 PM

Santorum is again claiming that a Theocracy is bad. The irony, it burns. #familyfaithvalues

09:59 PM

Santorum stares at Brian Wilson like the question he’s asking is completely ludicrous.

09:58 PM

Tonight’s debate is brought to you by Cigar City Jai Alai IPA.

09:54 PM

Break number two. Time to get out the beer.

09:53 PM

President Obama just yelled “O RLY?!?!” at his TV screen.

09:52 PM

“Gov. Romney, how do you end a war in Afghanistan without talking to the Taliban.” “By beating them.”

09:51 PM

Everyone keeps saying we’ve been at war for 10 years. Did I miss Congress passing a Declaration of War?

09:50 PM

“Our Navy is now smaller than it was in 1917.” – Romney..But, umm…still bigger than everyone else’s?

09:49 PM

Santorum says that Cuba will become a launching pad for Jihadists.

09:48 PM

“We don’t have to use force and intimidation and overthrow governments.” Equates that kind of policy to the Dark Ages.

09:46 PM

How long has Castro been in power now???

09:46 PM

Gingrich says that Obama is a fault for not starting a “Cuban Spring.” Buh what?

09:44 PM

Romney thinks you should thank mythical sky wizards when people you don’t like die.

09:44 PM

Seriously, what the hell? Are they really trying to make the case that Dodd-Frank caused the economic problems we’re having?

09:43 PM

Dodd-Frank was passed in 2010. The economy tanked in 2008. Sorry, Newt. You can’t blame Dodd-Frank.

09:39 PM

Santorum thinks you should be able to deduct losses from the sale of an underwater house. Not a bad idea, really.

09:33 PM

30 minutes in and Brian Williams completely loses control of the debate.

09:31 PM

Newt tries to draw a comparison between Romney working for Bain and his working for Freddie Mac. That’s a bridge too far, Newty.

09:30 PM

Romney pretty effectively calls bullcrap on Newt’s claims to have not been a lobbyist for Freddie Mac.

09:28 PM

Newt is trying to fall back on the “nasty politics” defense to combat lobbyist claims.

09:27 PM

(That stance being that Capitalism was circumvented by the bailouts and the market should have been left to deal with the problems that TARP “solved.”)

09:25 PM

GAH. Santorum takes a stance that I agree with. Now I have Santorum all over me.

09:24 PM

Romney says he didn’t inherit his money, but if he’s trying to pretend he started on the same grounds as folks like you and me he’s full of crap.

09:23 PM

Romney makes it clear that he won’t release the tax returns from his years at Bain Capital.

09:21 PM

I like the fact that Brian Williams keeps trying to get the candidates to actually answer the question he’s asked. #crazy

09:20 PM

Romney says there isn’t going to be anything newsworthy in his tax returns. Diverts question to talking about taxes of the American people.

09:18 PM

Gingrich slips in a reminder that he was endorsed by Rick Perry.

09:17 PM

Brian Williams trying to pin Ron Paul down on whether he will run as a third-party candidate.

09:15 PM

Santorum says he was a Conservative before it was cool to be a Conservative. #hipsterPolitician

09:12 PM

Oh, snap. Brian just totally cut Romney off.

09:11 PM

Gingrich says he left office because the Democrats trumped up ethics charges against him.

09:10 PM

This is how I watch debates.

09:07 PM

“I’m not going to spend the evening chasing Governor Romney’s misinformation.” Says he’s not going to “waste time” on rebutting and will set up a web site by tomorrow morning with all the “facts.”

09:06 PM

Huh. Romney says “he had to resign in disgrace” twice in a minute. Think he’s got a point to make?

09:02 PM

Brian Williams is explaining the rules. Like anyone is going to pay attention to them.

09:01 PM

Nice opening shot of the USF campus.

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Live Blog – CNN Debate

Politics 4 Responses »

Jan 192012

Late to the game. Heading in!

10:02 PM

Question – If my birth state votes for Santorum can I apply to legally have my birth certificate moved somewhere else?

10:02 PM

Ok. Debate is over. Let’s see how South Carolina decides to handle things from here.

09:59 PM

Santorum thinks he’s the only person who can beat Obama because of his firm stance on social issues. Only if Democrats decide to stay home that day, Ricky.

09:56 PM

Romney says that if he’s President he will stand up against President Obama. Wait…what?

09:54 PM

Gingrich says that Obama is the most dangerous President of our lifetime.

09:53 PM

Ron Paul says the debt problem is the biggest problem facing our nation and points out it wasn’t even talked about tonight.

09:47 PM

“Abortion is a violent act.” – Ron Paul. Also says his policies would repeal Roe vs. Wade overnight.

09:46 PM

“Just for the record I wasn’t even thinking of you when I gave my statement, so you’re overly sensitive.” – Ron Paul (to Rick Santorum)

09:46 PM

Paul says that the abortion issue is a morality issue. Implying that those who support abortion are immoral.

09:44 PM

Wow. The crowd refuses to let John King move on without giving Ron Paul a chance to weigh in on abortion.

09:41 PM

Santorum says that because Romney didn’t insist that anti-abortion language was in Romneycare he supported abortion…because he should have known better.

09:40 PM

Oooo…Romney getting all pissy with Gingrich questioning his integrity over the abortion issue.

09:36 PM

Gingrich promises to issue an Executive Order on day one to stop the lawsuits against the states with tough immigration laws.

09:35 PM

Ron Paul says the way to fix the immigration issue is to address the reason why people are compelled to come here illegally in the first place. Shocking.

09:30 PM

Romney diverts immigration question by mentioning China, then says he can fix the problem by building a fence. There’s some irony there. See = Huns.

09:28 PM

Gingrich would create a national verification system and turn it over to private enterprise because the government cannot possibly control such a thing without it becoming corrupt. You know…Because corporations are such bastions of integrity.

09:26 PM

Gingrich says he can have the border under control by January of 2014. Also says he’d pass legislation to make English the official language of the United States.

09:24 PM

Ron Paul says he wouldn’t change anything either. As the most consistent candidate that makes sense.

09:23 PM

Santorum wouldn’t change a thing. Not a single, petulant, pissy, annoying thing.

09:23 PM

Romney – “I’d work harder to get 25 more votes in Iowa.” Proceeds to express “regret” over spending time on other candidates over criticizing Obama.

09:22 PM

Gingrich says if he could do anything over he’d have run the campaign “his way” from the start.

09:18 PM

Actually, Senator Santorum, I can be more specific than that. It came from Zombocom.

09:16 PM

Santorum asks where the idea that “anything goes” on the internet came from. How about…umm…the last 40 years?

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Live Blog – NBC News Facebook Debate

Politics 7 Responses »

Jan 082012

Ugh…I’m awake. Might as well watch it.

10:43 AM

Two debates in a twenty-four hour window. I think I may go a bit insane. I’m going to now continue with my previous plans of cooking all day, doing some laundry, drinking delicious home roasted coffee, and generally not fretting about the fact that there are some bugnutty people who want to be the President of my beloved country.

10:36 AM

People wonder why Ron Paul has a hard time catching on outside of his base? I make a comment pointing out that Ron Paul make a politically dangerous statement by speaking out against group rights, and I get jumped on by JJEmmans for being a “sheep.” Note, I didn’t say I disagreed with Ron Paul. I implied that his statement is not one that will play well with the mainstream. Ron Paul supporters pride themselves on being devoted to the truth, but they apparently don’t like it when someone points out the truth to them. Equality is an emotional issue, and you can talk about how liberty is liberty all you want but people who are on the other side of it are going to have a hard time hearing what you say due to preconceived notions about injustice. This is a simple fact, and your belief doesn’t change it. I’m not even saying Ron Paul needs to change his message! I’m just saying it’s a hard sell.

So, yeah. Stop being assholes, Ron Paul supporters. You’re scaring off the normal people.

10:25 AM

Santorum going back to his argument that the biggest problem in our country is the break down of the American family. That is, to borrow a phrase, Bullshit!

10:21 AM

The man who is anti-theocracy is on record saying “God has given us this great country to allow his people — to allow his people to be free, has given us that dignity because we are a creation of his, and we need to honor that creation. And whether it’s the sanctity of life in the womb or the dignity of every working person in America to fulfill their potential, you will have a friend in Rick Santorum.”

10:17 AM

Catholic Santorum says that Iran is a theocracy led by people who believe that the afterlife is better than this life. Ummm….

10:13 AM

Huntsman again making the trust argument. Says he will attack the “trust deficit.”

10:11 AM

Ron Paul making the case that Gay/Women’s/Minority rights are wrong. Says rights are rights. I understand his point, but it’s a politically dangerous thing to say.

10:10 AM

“Entitlements are not Rights.” – Ron Paul

10:09 AM

“When you voted for the Prescription Drug Expansion, were you advancing Socalism?” – Question to Santorum. Amazingly, he doesn’t really answer.

10:08 AM

Perry asked if he believes that Obama wants what is best for the country. Perry dodges and says the Founding Fathers wouldn’t want a Socialist president.

10:05 AM

“In Massachusetts we receive a lot of air from the rest of the country.” – Romney. Dang…they have to import air?

09:57 AM

Another commercial break and David Gregory staring at me with his “you internet watchers are freeloaders” eyes.

09:53 AM

The only thing Santorum didn’t do in his last answer was say “I have gay friends.”

09:53 AM

Apparently Santorum thinks the way he’s spoken about homosexuality is “treating people with respect and dignity.”

09:52 AM

“When is the last time you stood up and spoke for increasing gay rights?” “Right now.” – Romney. Well played.

09:50 AM

Romney arguing that all federal aid programs should be kicked back to the states.

09:48 AM

Ron Paul gets asked if he supports subsidies. Kind of a silly question to ask Ron Paul, really.

09:43 AM

Perry making the argument that he’s the only real Conservative option. Pushing the balanced budget amendment.

09:41 AM

There’s a woman who is asleep directly behind David Gregory. Trying to get a screen shot.

09:41 AM

Huntsman is again making the case that he’s the only candidate you can trust. Pushing term limits on Congress.

09:36 AM

Santorum is saying that Paul operates on the fringe. Pot, meet kettle.

09:31 AM

Huntsman is again making the case for reforming the tax code.

09:30 AM

David Gregory judges you during the commercial break if you watch the stream online.

09:25 AM

Perry dodging that question was lame. It was a good question.

09:23 AM

Perry jokes about the three departments blunder he had before. Commentator – “Is that your final answer?”

09:22 AM

Gingrich making the case that he can improve the Government and save money without causing pain to Americans.

09:18 AM

Oh, snap. “This nation is divided, David, because of attitudes like that.” Huntsman fires back at Romney over last night.

09:15 AM

Rick Perry is making a desperate lunge for the Tea Party vote…As if it’s still relevant.

09:13 AM

Ron Paul points out that a lot of time is spent on the debates talking about unimportant issues.

09:11 AM

Dang, yo. This debate is already uglier than last night.

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Live Blog – ABC News/Yahoo News Republican Debate in New Hampshire

Politics 6 Responses »

Jan 072012

It’s certainly been an interesting week. I’m honestly shocked that Santorum has suddenly risen to such a prominent spot in the race for the Republican nomination. I mean, from my perspective? The guy is a joke as a candidate. When you look at his petulant behavior during the earlier debates it’s pretty clear that, unless he went through a major personality change, Obama would shred him in a debate during the general election. His views on “family values” and homosexuality range from laughable to offensive, to the point where I think there’s very little chance he win enough votes from moderates and independents to actually win the election. The only real hope he’d have is that a whole slew of people would just stay home instead of choosing between him and Obama.

That said, I think his moment in the spotlight is going to be fleeting.

I really hope that Huntsman is able to make a splash in South Carolina and continue his campaign. I like Huntsman. I don’t agree with his politics in many ways, but he’s not a jackass. I can’t say that about the rest of the contenders.

I also hope that Gingrich decimates Romney. That will be fun.

Commentary is starting, so here we go…

10:51 PM

Commentator just said that if you rip open Ron Paul’s suit you’d find one of the Romney boys operating him as a puppet.

10:43 PM

Ron Paul, on the other hand, was probably telling the absolute truth by saying that he’d be reading a book on economics.

10:42 PM

UGH. Huntsman gave a total bullshit/pandering answer to the Saturday night question. What a lame way to end the debate.

10:41 PM

Apparently a happening Saturday night in the Perry household involves the shooting range.

10:39 PM

ABC just pointed out that there have been 62,000 Tweets about the debate. That’s pretty damn cool.

10:37 PM

Wow. Commentators just said that Romney’s attack on Huntsman was like using a hammer on a gnat.

10:34 PM

Romney just attacked Huntsman for serving under Obama as Ambassador to China. What an irrelevant, dickish thing to say.

10:32 PM

“I understand how the economy works because I’ve lived in it.” – Romney. That’s pretty much the same thing as claiming that you know how cars work because you drive one.

10:29 PM

“There are no classes in America.”- Santorum. Middle income is ok. Middle class is divisive. Ok. Suuuure.

10:27 PM

“We have the right in this country to pursue happiness as we choose.” – Romney. Unless, you know, being happy means marrying someone of the same sex.

10:26 PM

“I know you wanna ask that question, but I’m gonna just talk for a minute about the soul of America.”

10:25 PM

They finally tossed it back to Huntsman to finish his answer…I don’t think anyone knows what the question was.

10:23 PM

The moderators have completely lost control at this point. Perry just grabbed the conch and is going off on a tear.

10:22 PM

Whoop! Ron Paul is going after the Fed! DRINK!

10:19 PM

…and Huntsman is pretty clearly pissed about it.

10:19 PM

Stephanopoulous interrupts Huntsman to ask a question to the whole panel and lets Santorum go off on a tear. WTF?

10:12 PM

You know what makes watching debates better? Pudding. Pistachio pudding, to be exact.

10:09 PM

Santorum tells a HUGE bold-faced lie claiming that Obama said the elections in Iran were legitimate. Obama said the exact opposite.

10:04 PM

“Yes, the President is the Commander-In-Chief, but he’s not the King. That’s why we fought a revolution.” – Ron Paul

10:02 PM

Gingrich makes the absolutely correct argument that to win in the Middle East we need to get rid of our dependence on foreign oil. I agree, but I disagree with him on how we get there.

10:00 PM

“I would send troops back into Iraq.” – Rick Perry. Even though, you know, they told us to leave?

09:59 PM

Gingrich thinks we should be treating the Middle East like we did the Russians during the Cold War. I’d like to see him elaborate on that. How do you fight terrorists like you fight a standing army?

09:57 PM

“I don’t want to be the President that invests another penny in a civil war.” – John Huntsman on Afghanistan

09:55 PM

Apparently respecting the Establishment clause of the Constitution is a War on Religion in Rick Perry’s eyes.

09:54 PM

Here comes Perry with claims that the Obama administration is waging a War on Christianity.

09:51 PM

“There’s a lot more anti-Christian bigotry out there today than there is from the other side.” – Gingrich. What other side, Newt???

09:50 PM

Romney re-states the inaccurate “fact” that children are better off being raised by a man and woman.

09:49 PM

Santorum advocates a Constitutional amendment defining marriage as between a man and woman, and states that existing marriages would be void as a result.

09:46 PM

“I still support the death penalty.” – Rick Santorum in 2005.

09:44 PM

“I don’t believe we have the right, in the Constitution, to take a human life.” – Santorum. What’s his stance on the death penalty?

09:42 PM

“States don’t WANT to ban contraception, so why would we put that in the Constitution?” – Romney

09:41 PM

Romney just handed Stephanopolis his ass over a pretty silly hypothetical question.

09:33 PM

Maybe I read his body language wrong, but Gingrich looked like he was pretty pissed off at Ron Paul.

09:32 PM

Ron Paul diverts questions about the racist newsletter by talking about the racial disparity issues in the judicial system.

09:28 PM

“I’m trying to stop the wars, but at least I went when they called me up.” – Ron Paul

09:28 PM

Gingrich implies that being an Army brat is somehow comparable to having served in the military.

09:27 PM

And here comes the old Republican “Democrats put freedom at risk” charge.

09:24 PM

Huntsman just said “everybody knows” so many times that this song is now stuck in my head

09:18 PM

Rick Perry comes in after Santorum and Paul tear into each other and opens with “You just say an example of why I got into this race.” Well played, Perry.

09:17 PM

Santorum wins for being the first candidate to ignore the agreed-upon debate rules. Shocking, that.

09:16 PM

“I’m not a policy guy, I’m a cause guy.” – Rick Santorum

09:14 PM

It’s great to see the Republican double-talk in regards to economic recovery is consistent. Bill Clinton didn’t get any credit for the economic growth that happened during his Presidency, and now they want to say that the recovery we’re seeing during the Obama administration is in spite of, and not because of, Obama’s leadership.

09:10 PM

Romney says that the New York Times put Free Enterprise on trial for writing a story about how Bain bought a company, gutted it, and caused 1700 people to lose their jobs.

09:05 PM

Santorum is making points I agree with already. The President is NOT supposed to be a CEO. Government is not a business.

09:03 PM

Diane Sawyer is already reminding the candidates that they agreed on the rules of the debate. We’ll see how long it takes for someone to break them.

08:53 PM

Mitt-mentum? Really, folks? Are we at the point where we’re making celebrity style nicknames for our candidates? Too bad we’re just doing it now. We could have had McCalin vs. O’Biden back in 2008.

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And so it goes…

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Dec 312011

2011 is a few hours away from ending, and like twenty bazillion other people in the world I’m reflecting back on the previous year. For some reason I’ve decided that you, my faithful readers, may be interested in this.

I don’t know why.

Probably because I’m an egomaniac.

Yeah, that’s it.

So anyway…

Went back to school this year. That was pretty damn cool, even if I did have to go to an out of state school because the University of South Florida is run by a bunch of chode monkeys who wouldn’t even acknowledge me when I tried to appeal the fact that they rejected my application. Funny, that. One of the things they tell you when you go to a two-year college here in Florida is that if you graduate with your Associates degree you are guaranteed admission into any of the public four-year universities in the state. Turns out that simply isn’t true. Like, at all. In any case, I’ve been attending the University of Maryland University College and I’m doing quite well there. My grade point average is 3.65 and I’m on track to graduate with a Bachelor’s Degree in Computer Science in the Summer of 2014.

Work is…work? My company spent a lot of money installing SharePoint 2010 and I spent much of my time this year learning new skills to help me program in and administer that software. Part of my training involved a two week trip that included New York and Las Vegas. It was pretty cool, but shockingly enough after two weeks of intense training even “exotic” locations like Las Vegas get old and you start to yearn for home. Not to mention the amount of weight I put on while I was out there.

Oh, yeah. Health wise? This year sucked donkey balls. I managed to stay off the cigarettes (it’s been about 13 months now), but beyond that it’s been almost nothing but disappointment and setbacks. I was diagnosed with gout and as a result I gave up eating meat back in May. You’d think that being a vegetarian would be good for the waist line, but I’ve struggled mightily ever since. I think part of it has to do with the sheer amount of carbohydrates that go into your body when you aren’t eating animal flesh. Who knows? What I DO know is that I am, yet again, back up over 280 pounds. I haven’t weighed this much since we got back from the Goth Cruise, and I’m up 40 pounds from where I was just a few years ago. The gout episode completely derailed my running routine, and I’m still not fully back into it yet. Most of my clothes aren’t fitting properly, I have low energy, and my self-respect is pretty much in the shitter as a result. The last few weeks have been a bit better in that regard, but I’ve still got a long way to go before I start to feel comfortable in my skin again.

Krystalle and I celebrated our 8th anniversary back in July. Jareth turned 21. Alex turned 16. Kimmy split from her husband. My kids are getting older and I have my best friend at my side. That’s pretty awesome.

Theatrically? Did two shows. Should have done four but two of them were canceled (three, technically, but the second wouldn’t have gone up until January). I had my first ever theatrical role, and I had the privilege of, yet again, being the first actor to play a role in an original production. That would have happened twice this year, as I was supposed to be in a musical where the part I was playing was written specifically for me, but that fell through.

Celebrated my 10th season with Jobsite…but ironically haven’t been cast in anything yet for said season. Still one show up in the air, though.

Managed to whip the finances into pretty decent shape for a while there but the last few months have reversed a bit of that. I pulled a major remodeling surprise on Alex while he was out of town for Thanksgiving, and as glad as I am that I did the work the investment was considerable. It seriously needed to be done, though. That room was a health hazard, and that wasn’t ENTIRELY his fault.

All in all it was a good year. It wasn’t a great year, but it wasn’t a bad year. It was very busy. At times it was hard, and on many occasions the one thing I wanted more than anything else was sleep.

That’s still the case, really.

Happy New Year, my friends.

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How To Survive A Raptor Apocalypse

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Dec 172011

I mentioned on Twitter and Facebook that I had selected a “silly” topic for my final project in the Advanced Technical Writing class I am taking at the University of Maryland University College. Several of you said that you’d like to read it, so here in all of its glory is “How To Survive A Raptor Apocalypse”.

P.S. At the end of the post I’ve uploaded a video of the PowerPoint presentation I made to accompany the paper.

Big thanks to my buddy Ned for giving it the once-over with this Technical Writing mojo!

–

INTRODUCTION

In 1993, Steven Spielberg amazed the world with his blockbuster film Jurassic Park. The movie, based on the novel of the same name by Michael Crichton, was a cautionary tale about the potentially horrible consequences that could result from attempting to clone dinosaurs in the modern world. While many audiences were thrilled by the movie, they all went home from the theater that night safe in the knowledge that it was entirely fictional, and that nobody could actually clone dinosaurs.

They were wrong.

A team of Russian and Japanese scientists has announced plans to clone a wooly mammoth sometime in 2012. By combining the DNA of an elephant with marrow cells from a thigh bone of a deceased mammoth, the researchers believe they can re-create an animal that has not walked the planet in more than 10,000 years (Poeter). When Jurassic Park was released back in 1993 it was impossible to imagine that science would ever be able to actually re-create the fictional experiments that were portrayed in that film, but not even 20 years has passed since then and mankind is playing with fire by reaching back thousands of years to defy the laws of Natural Selection and raise a species from the dead. If these scientists are successful, it’s only a matter of time before they reach even further back in time to satisfy their mad desires to see dinosaurs walking the Earth again.

When they do, it will be a sad day for us all.

If you wish to survive the inevitable dinosaur apocalypse, the time to prepare is NOW. If you wait until the creatures have broken free from their mad creators it will be too late. This guide will help you prepare yourself and your home for the horrible day when science trumps logic and we are thrust head first into a war with a vicious and deadly foe.

Raptors.

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Live Blog – FOX News Republican Debate from Iowa

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Dec 152011

No time for flowery introductions on this one due to a late start. Let the live blog begin!

10:59 PM

And that’s that. I’d stick around to watch the commentary after, but the guy they have talking right now is already falling all over himself to talk about how phenomenal the debate was. Hope the dude remembered to put on his knee pads.

10:56 PM

Glad I’m out of beer. If I’d been drinking every time someone said Reagan over the last 3 minutes I’d be falling out of my chair about now.

10:52 PM

Audience member starts yelling something. Couldn’t hear what he said.

10:51 PM

Oh, snap. Bachmann is pissed. Points out that Gingrich keeps claiming that her facts are wrong. Intimates that he doesn’t treat her as a viable candidate.

10:48 PM

Bachmann is stating that the abortion issue is one of the “core” issues of the Republican party.

10:44 PM

Chris Wallace is hammering Romney on the fact that his politics sway with the polls.

10:18 PM

“Gov. Huntsman, that’s time.” “Well let me just get this second point in.”

10:14 PM

“How are you going to rebuild a military when you have no money?” – Ron Paul

10:13 PM

“We know without a shadow of a doubt that Iran will use a nuclear weapon to take out our ally, Israel, and to use it against the United States.” – Michelle Bachmann

10:09 PM

“They don’t hate us because of what we do or the policies we have. They hate us because of who we are.” – Rick Santorum, talking about the Middle East (and being completely wrong)

10:07 PM

“We have 12,000 diplomats in our services…We should try diplomacy every once in a while.” – Ron Paul

10:06 PM

“What did we do with Libya? We talked him out of his nuclear weapons…and then we killed him.” – Ron Paul

10:04 PM

“I fear that (Iran is) another Iraq coming. It’s war propaganda going on.” – Ron Paul

10:01 PM

FOX News commentators are indicating that all the campaign consultants get together and coordinate attacks to the leading candidate. Scary thought.

09:58 PM

Paul doesn’t pick any. Bachmann goes with all the Conservatives. Huntsman goes with Roberts and Alito.

09:58 PM

Shockingly enough Perry, Romney, and Gingrich name all four Conservative justices as the favorite.

09:57 PM

Oh, hey…Santorum is back to ignoring questions and saying what he wants to when given the chance. Favorite justice is Thomas.

09:53 PM

“If you get too careless about abolishing courts that can open up a can of worms.” – Ron Paul

09:52 PM

Gingrich states that if Federal judges rule against “Under God” they should be removed from office because they are “dictatorial.”

09:48 PM

“The President thinks our economy is in decline. It is if he’s President. It’s not if I’m President.” – Romney

09:46 PM

Santorum pledges to repeal every single Obama regulation.

09:43 PM

Hey! It’s John Huntsman! He kinda looks like he’s smelling a fart.

09:41 PM

Paul says that the reason he’d be a good President is because he doesn’t want the power.

09:41 PM

Neil Cavuto is asking Ron Paul about earmarks. Correctly points out that it’s hypocritical that he rallies against government spending while taking them. Paul seems to indicate that he’s kind of obligated to, but politicians like Clare McCaskill don’t, sooo…

09:36 PM

Reagan reference! DRINK!

09:33 PM

Gah. Bachmann points out that there’s a big difference between Freddie/Fannie and credit unions. She’s made me agree with her!

09:32 PM

Gingrich mentions credit unions and co-ops again, but he implies that they are Government Sponsored Enterprises. I’m not sure I agree with that.

09:30 PM

Whoa…Did Gingrich just promote Credit Unions and co-ops? Did I hear that correctly?

09:28 PM

I’m back, but the live stream is being horribly laggy.

09:10 PM

Whelp. Apparently the boy is done with his show already, so I’m off to pick him up. I’m not sure I’ll miss much.

09:08 PM

“Anybody up here could probably beat Obama.” – Ron Paul. And with that Mr. Paul joins the ranks of the lunatic fringe. Cuz if he things Santorum could be Obama….

09:04 PM

Yes! We start right off with a Reagan comparison! DRINK!

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Older Entries

So long, Rick…For now.

An Appeal To Authority

Live Blog – 2012 State of the Union Address

Live Blog – Republican Debate in Tampa

Live Blog – CNN Debate

Live Blog – NBC News Facebook Debate

Live Blog – ABC News/Yahoo News Republican Debate in New Hampshire

And so it goes…

How To Survive A Raptor Apocalypse

Live Blog – FOX News Republican Debate from Iowa

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